You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
