Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
