i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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