So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
