You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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