THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
