and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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