If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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