O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
