you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
