Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
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