ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Randomize
