you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
