I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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