For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Randomize