yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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