Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
