Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
