Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
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