i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
