Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
