Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.�
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
