I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
