mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
...so i touched it.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
