Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
this will be a night to untag.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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