I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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