You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
