PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
