Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
