let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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