THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
