He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
