Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
