hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
i out mim tonsoeep
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