I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
