he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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