shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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