Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
