Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
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