I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
