In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
