Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
