somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
