There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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