I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
