pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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