I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
