They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
