I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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