I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
